butter light

singleness and Christian character

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the Christian character approach to singleness

In his book Culture as History Warren Susman reveals a study on how our American society has transformed in the Twentieth Century.  Part of his study shows a dramatic change from an emphasis on character to the now pervasive focus on personality.  Character mainly focuses on values and personality is focused on “me.”


You are probably asking, “So how is becoming a person of better character going to help me catch a mate?”  Well, first, as much as some want to water down God’s sovereign will, He is still in charge no matter what.  Letting God change you where He thinks you need to change will have a wondrous effect on your future whatever it is.  In fact, just the basic act of admitting that God is totally sovereign is a huge step in the growth of your character.  Coming to the place where you not only admit God is sovereign, but that you are letting Him be that to you can have a wonderful transforming effect on you.


With that in mind let us give ourselves this advice:

Abandon all intentions of pleasing the Self.  God is Sovereign.  Let Him be in charge – of everything.  This means not only turning the outcomes of your life over to Him.  It means letting Him own all the “right now” of your life. The bottom line: something’s got to change – it’s me.                        James 1:25

How can I know what specifically needs to change?  Know God.  Learn what He is like & what He likes.  Then, you’ll see it.  Let God be growing you from the inside out into a godly match for whomever or whatever He has in your future.  Could anything be more attractive than a life lived in sweet surrender to Christ? Aim for Christ-like character rather than a pleasing personality.  Col 1:28

This approach to singleness is based on the idea that there is nothing more serious-deep down joyful than living under the 24/7, 360 degree influence of the Triune God.  To live in, under and for His high expectations increases your chances of living a life overflowing with God’s blessings whether you are single or married, now, later or never.      


…of Him, through Him and to Him are all thingsTo whom be glory forever. Amen. Rom 11:36

Happy is the man that does not walk in the counsel of the ungodly….                  Psalm 1

that you might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing…                       Col 1:10


THEREFORE, because Christ is sovereign and supreme and all-sufficient, for His sake…

 Bee asking God what needs to change in me   (see Rom 12:1-2 with 3-14)

Bee longing to grow in Christ-like character

Bee kind

Bee gracious

Bee pure

Bee modest (as in the way you dress)

Bee loving

Bee dependable

Bee friendly

Bee selfless

Bee spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ

Bee focused on the priorities of life

Bee out of debt

Bee content no matter what 

Bee not rash or impulsive

Bee in God’s Word daily and let His Word be in you continually

Bee an active member of an NT church 

Bee planning for future obligations

Bee teachable

Bee missions minded

Bee disciplined in your life habits

Bee serving others

Bee changed into His image

Bee not consumed with entertainment

Bee praying for one another

Bee mingling with other Christian singles as friends


guys – take up the challenges of Christian manhood (more on that later)

girls – let the graces of Christian womanhood shine out (more on that later)


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